top of page

Surviving domestic violence

 

Senior James Wilson has returned to Clarke Central after two years of living in a safe home  because of his mother’s experience facing domestic violence.

 

He sees car lights flashing by his eyes, disappearing into the darkness that soon awaited him. He hears his mother talking on the phone to a police officer, a universal sign that something is wrong. He tries to piece his memories together to create one clear conclusion as to why he, his siblings and his mother are having to leave their home in such a

His mother sees the green glowing sign that reads Athens. She has never been there before, but she knows anywhere is safer than her home in Snellville with her husband. She hears her children asking her where they are going and what has happened and she can not help but question this herself.

Through a lifetime of tribulations in her home, senior James Wilson's mother, Chanda Santana, was a victim of domestic violence inflicted by Wilson's father. Santana remembers her husband showing signs of aggression during the first couple of months they were together.

"I started experiencing domestic violence that first year my husband and I were married. I was pregnant with James during the time, and I went to live in a domestic violence shelter for three months and then my husband kinda wooed me back in," Santana said.

Santana and her husband then had many children in a short amount of time which made her extremely dependent on his resources as she was not financially stable. After having a total of six children in seven years, the physical abuse decreased, although the emotional damage was still occurring. And then, Santana's husband took out his anger on one of her children.

"Twelve years ago, I had one son who was not my husband's, and there was an incident where he became physically disruptive towards my son who was 12 at the time. It was pretty severe. I remember just shaking and trembling asking him if he would make that choice again," Santana said.

Santana and her family lived on their own without her husband for around a year after the incident. However, raising the children on her own without any financial support was difficult, and soon, Santana was forced to move back in with her husband.

"Finally the straw that broke the camel's back was about four years ago. There was a situation where he got mad, and I tried to sneak away, but he wouldn't let me drive the vehicle. I was going to try and sneak off in the car that day, and he pretended to take a shower, but really wasn't and came and grabbed me from behind as I was trying to get in the van. There was a physical fight and he was trying to pry the keys out of my hand, and he just kept slamming me into the door and bore a hole into the palm of my hand with the keys," Santana said.

After their fight ended, Santana officially decided to leave her husband and move into a temporary shelter owned by Project Safe in Athens.

Through the Family Violence Clinic, Santana was able to get an attorney and the court voted that she get the financial leverage from her husband that she needed. He was to pay the rent for the next two months, and this was all Santana needed to get back on her feet.

James has moved back to Athens once again this year, but this time the experience is a positive one. For 17 years, Santana had been a victim of domestic violence until she and her family were put in a two year transitional program through Project Safe in Commerce.

"I had to disrupt the kid's lives and move them out of the school system to live there because I didn't have viable transportation to make a commute at the time," Santana said. "Project Safe had a Housing and Urban Development program that owned a regular apartment with three bedrooms that we lived in."

Moving away from Athens was not easy for James. His friends had always been a support for him and without them, life was harder. Not only was it strenuous on James, but on his friend, Nicole Googe, as well.  

“When James moved away, it was a really weird feeling. Everything was the same, but there was something missing. We were really close before he moved, so it was frustrating for him to be so close but inaccessible. I’ve always tried to be there for James, whether he wanted to talk about what was going on or not,” Googe said.

Coming back to Athens, James joined several different school outlets, such as drama, to express himself.

"It is a really big form of expression for me, like acting for me and getting that opportunity to step outside of yourself and to just leave reality behind and create a new one for just a temporary moment, I really enjoy that," James said.

James also joined Mock Trial to make up for all of the lost time between him and his friends, and to be able to practice his acting in a different form. Club sponsor and district attorney, Ken Mauldin expresses how he has contributed to the team.

“James has really brought his ability as an actor to the table and play the role of one of the major witnesses. In Mock Trial, the performance of witnesses is vital to the success of the team during competition. Having someone with James' drama experience is a great asset for our team,” Mauldin said.

Not only has James used physical channels to get through his situation, he has had to gain perspective mentally as well by looking into himself.

“I would just throw myself into reading and research on the ocean and just planning for the future was the biggest thing that probably kept me stable,” James said.

James is anticipating life after high school. He has applied to the University of Miami and five other schools that all have award winning marine biology programs. James feels that his goal to become a marine biologist could not have been inspired on his own; he was able to attend a program and learn more about the subject with financial help from Project Safe.

"Safe homes are so, so helpful. I applied for this scholarship for a trip in the Caribbean for three weeks. It was a marine biology voyage, and I learned how to scuba dive and took a marine biology course that was a college level. It was an amazing experience. I raised a thousand dollars to pay for it, but they covered airfare which was a huge contribution," James said. "They also help with the emotional aspect, like they send you to therapy and they covered all of it."

Project Safe also provided emotional support for James’ family, especially Santana because her experience was so poignant. Assistant Clinical Professor and president of the Georgia Psychological Association Gayle Spears has been one such person to  help women who have been victims of domestic violence.

“Women who experience domestic violence often find society's messages about the roles of women to actually add to their emotional distress.  For example,  ‘children need both parents.’  Also, women often know that they cannot provide a financially stable home for her children,” Spears said.

Santana was so inspired by her background that she has begun to transfer that energy and passion towards creating a non profit advocacy group that aims to help women in similar situations.

“My career plite will always be helping that sector of women that I can relate to.  I have always helped other women to get out of situations even when I was still stuck in my own,” Santana said. “Gradually over time, my self worth has increased. There's such a mental dynamic that goes along with that. I am a domestic violence survivor. I was a woman that didn't care much about herself, and I had this picture in my mind. She wasn't me.”

 

ABSTRACT: I am proud of this article because I did a good job with handling such a sensitive topic and had to look through records and fact check to make sure that everything James' mother had said was true. Although, this article has not been published yet, I am still working to get it published with ODYSSEY or another local publication. I am excited to see how this will broaden the perspectives of my peers and how it will put a face to domestic violence. One thing I struggled with when writing this article was making sure everything I said was ethical and that I was making good use of the "shock factor," but not overdoing it.

bottom of page